Children _ Divorce Advice And Help

Children - Divorce Advice And Help  

There has been much debate by both experts and other parties as to the lasting damage that may or may not be incurred by children when their parents cease to be together and divorce.  Some believe that it is not the event of separation or divorce that affects the children but what happens after the event.

Nobody has the right answer but there is much research and there continues to be so on children and divorce.  In short, this section cannot hope to give people the answers but suffice to say that care should be taken with children.

Children are like sponges and they do take things in and they understand more than adults give them credit for.

Put yourself in your child's position:

• As a child would you be aware of what is going on?
• Has the reason for this change in circumstance and divorce been explained?
• Do you blame yourself for the divorce and what is happening with your parents?
• Are you totally confused, frightened or do not know what is going to happen to you?
• Are you pleased that your parents are not together and divorcing?
• Do you know which is your home or do you have two homes? Are you being disruptive to gain attention?
• Have you regressed into childish behaviour? Why?

Responsibility:

You and your ex-partner have a responsibility to ensure that your children are given as much support as possible through such a difficult time.  It is not just your divorce it is also the childs.

Talk to your children, talk to advisers or counsellors, go to the library and read about divorce and children. Unless you are a professional divorcee with many "under your belt" it is new for you and new for your children so you need to learn about it and research it.

There are no right or wrong answers concerning children and divorce but it is worthwhile giving something of yourself for your children's welfare.